Monday, September 26, 2016

Someone out-sassed me

Me: I'm so tired! SOMEONE made me tired!
Him: Well, SOMEONE didn't want to watch the movie.

Tuesday, September 6, 2016 I did this thing

The past couple of days, I would have random mild panic attacks when I start thinking about what will happen next year because I did this CRAZY stupid thing last Saturday and there's no turning back. I could turn back but it would be a huge waste of money and stress.

I don't want to be too specific about it yet because I don't want to jinx anything. Although if you have been following my life, you would have an idea. It's not even that crazy but considering my terror for basically EVERYTHING, this is a big deal for me.

So what I've been doing to distract myself from my anxiety is reading up on what I'm going to do and repeating to myself that it is feasible and everything is going to be okay (because IT IS! EVERYTHING IS GONNA BE OKAY, OKAY? YOU HAVE TO CHILL!)

Also, the current girl of an ex is bugging the fuck out of me like DUDE, get the fuck over the fact that I have slept with more than 2 guys. You literally have NOTHING to do with it and it's none of your business what I do with my lady business. I might write something about slut-shaming because she has inspired so much in me that I want to school assholes like her to straighten the fuck up. (she watches my blog like a hawk and she maybe the only person reading this, for real, so I'm not even making an effort to sound eloquent since she doesn't know any better anyway and not worth the effort)

So that has been a nice distraction (and so fun too) because she's fucking nuts and I'm this close to exposing her online if she doesn't leave me alone.

Anyway!! OMG The Thing that I'm stressing out about is very stressful and I just need everyone to send happy, positive thoughts to me and imagine me being calm and also excited and happy and alive. <333

Monday, August 22, 2016

I really want to go back to writing but I'm in such a fuck it attitude towards life now that I can't. In the meantime, I'll use this break to cultivate my personal brand (lol) like a fungus.

To do list:

  • really simmer myself in The Bell Jar this time. There are so much gem in that book that I missed the first time I read it and I'm so glad I decided to read it again in a different format.
  • watch Rosemary's Baby and other dark films that I've been meaning to watch for a long time but have been putting off to watch Louie and just being a general lazy-ass.

Friday, July 22, 2016

about me

"I like playing with dicks when they're soft. I didn't do that on the first date because we don't know each other that well yet but since it's now our second date, I could do whatever I want."

Am I just not the most delightful person on earth? Like seriously, I don't know why men don't just congregate outside of my building with wedding proposals.

Thursday, June 30, 2016

I can adult (sometimes for maybe 5 seconds)

I just want everyone to know that I've been doing really well at adulting lately. My goal of cooking for myself earlier this year didn't take off immediately but it has now and I'm proud that I'm making progress despite taking too long to do anything. I haven't had fast food for dinner in weeks (lunch is a different situation because I had 7-11 fried chicken twice), and if you live away from your parents and are particularly lazy, that's a HUGE achievement. Anyway, monday I made vegetarian tacos then had one glass of wine as I watched the finale for Game of Thrones. There is no picture of that because it's just a mess of things that I literally jammed in my mouth while standing over the sink like a proper lady. Tacos are SO good, guys. What did we do to deserve tacos? I ate like six of them. 

Yesterday, I made shakshuka which sounds exotic but it's really just tomatoes and vegetables topped with egg. I was going to post that photo on Instagram but I don't want my shakshuka to be judged since it isn't exactly the most photogenic food but who the fuck really cares? 


For a while ago's dinner, I made a huge bowl of salad that I didn't think was going to be good since it's a "panic" food where I just want to get rid of shit in the fridge before they spoil. It turned out to be super tasty! Useful tip: keep a bottle of pesto and capers in your fridge because they make everything taste sosyal. They're also fairly cheap and keep well. I might make another shakshuka tomorrow (how fun is it to say that?) because it's easy and there's still left over canned tomatoes to get rid of. There's one more avocado to deal with, i'll probably just eat it whole. 

God! Talking about responsible eating is so boring! But I think it's important to post about the good things that are happening in my life right now because some people are still checking on me multiple times a day when they can and just how pathetic is that? Dear Obsessed Lady, I'm doing fine. I do not have any plans to ruin your life because I do not give a single fuck about you and what you do in your free time. And frankly, you're not the type of person I want going here because you're not my target market at all (because *in Jean-Ralphio's voice* you're jeje as fuuuuuuck) Please get married and have shitty babies with that shitty guy and stop worrying about my whereabouts already, sheesh.


Wednesday, June 22, 2016

..I'm not Team O, I'm actually not on anyone's team. Humanap ka na ng bago pero please, wag na wag ka nang babalik kay A!

-Mafe giving sound advice after hearing me whine about missing L again because that one was a surprise turn of events. How the fuck did i even get trapped in that sad banana feel for more than the allotted amount of time i usually give myself (3 days)? Pero I'm good now, wala akong motivation maghanap ng bago though because HAVE YOU SEEN THE FUCKTARDS ON TINDER LATELY? Tumal, chong.  

Monday, June 13, 2016

"You're not wearing the funny shorts.."
Those shorts aren't funny, it has cupcakes on them
"You can't say something isn't funny and immediately say they have cupcakes on them."

Actual conversation that happened because I was (still am) too lazy to buy proper bloomers/bicycle shorts to wear under my dresses.

ps. i miss you tiny Khal Drogo

Tuesday, June 7, 2016

I am the worst. No, i am.


Actual message i sent to someone I slept with (who's Facebook friends with the current person that I like.) 

#revengescreenshot #againstmyself #shamebell 

Monday, June 6, 2016

The transition from missing you to how I am now

think of you less now.

I don't check your Instagram as much anymore, I no longer wonder as much about what you're doing, when you're going to talk to me again, if you really liked me like you said you did, did our kisses mean anything, did you mean the words you told me, do you think about me as much as I think about you, was I wrong to give you a chance, was it a weakness on my part to open myself up to someone who I knew would disappoint me again, are you kissing someone else now, did you lie to me just to get in my pants, when you kissed me in front of everyone did you have any idea how much that would ruin me, did I have an effect on you at all, did you have a good time with me, did I bore you, will you acknowledge me at all if i see you somewhere in the city, will your friends remember me at all, should i reach out to you again, is that a good idea, are you okay, what's your favorite movie, who's your favorite poet, what would i tell you if you do text me, i want you so much. will you ever come back?

I don't think about you as much anymore

But when i do

Man, I really do